Wednesday, February 6, 2019

Why Pizza Is Not Important



I was drinking a raspberry vodka cocktail on the patio of a fairly popular bar in West Hollywood when I was introduced by a friend to RJ. At the time, I was with my friend Sarah, who knew RJ because they had met at a party a few months ago. We made small talk, and because I was somewhat drunk, I flirted a bit and hoped I came off as charming. I thought she was extremely attractive so I asked her for her number. She gave it to me and made me promise to text her later.

(Side note. I thought Sarah introduced me to RJ because she thought that I would find her attractive and we could hit things off. I didn't realize that she had been hitting on RJ the whole night and that she introduced us because she wanted to leave a good impression. When I found out what happened, I apologized to Sarah, but she said that it was no problem. She went even further to say that when she got home, she thought that RJ and I were good for each other and that we could possibly be more than friends. I still felt guilty about the whole situation, but that didn't stop me from going on a first date with RJ.)

So afterwards I ended up texting RJ, and we made room to have dinner with each other the next night. I came late because I had to come from a friend's birthday party and I couldn't blow her off. She said that she didn't mind waiting, mainly because she was catching up with her reading for class. We ended up eating in this small restaurant near campus.

Here's the thing that I hate about first dates: I'm awkward and easily embarrassed. I hate going on first dates with a burning passion. And because of this, I tend to be too quiet and polite because I'm always scared that I'll say or do something that would make me look like a fool. This, in turn, makes me seem extremely boring.

RJ ended up telling me that she thought the exact same thing about me. She told me that she didn't know where the charming person she met two days ago went. I told her that I was only charming because I was extremely drunk, and that I'm usually more reserved when I'm first getting to know someone. If she wanted to get to know me more, she'd have to hang out with me more until I felt comfortable around her.

Despite the boring dinner, RJ asked me if I wanted to get drinks with her. After a few drinks, I started to relax and feel more open. We ended up having much more fun after that, which then led to several more dates after the first one.

At a certain point during the first date, I remember telling RJ that I had something for girls who would be down to do things such as get ice cream or pizza together. Basically, someone who didn't mind what they were eating as long as it tasted good and they were having fun. Most people hate eating oily things with other people because it's messy. I'm the exact opposite when it comes to that: I like eating with someone that I like. For me, it's a way to get to know someone better. It also saves time because you get to hang out with the person you like and you get to eat something great. What more could one possibly want?

About a month after we met, I asked her if she wanted to sleep over at my place for the weekend. It seemed like we were getting serious, and I wanted to talk to her about maybe taking the relationship further.

That Friday evening, I picked her up at her apartment. At that point, I had a compulsive habit of holding her hand and either rubbing my thumb over her hand or kissing it once in a while. Most of the time, I wouldn't even realize that I was doing it. RJ didn't seem to mind, so there was nothing to stop me from making this into a habit. When I did that this particular Friday, I realized something was off.

"What is that in your hand?"

"I'm holding a pizza."

I looked at her and narrowed my eyes. I quickly reverted my eyes back to the road. "Did you get that for me?"

There was a pause. "Yeah."

"Why?"

"I thought it would help you like me more."

"I already like you. You don't need to bribe me with food in order to do that."

"I know. I thought that you'd appreciate the gesture nonetheless."

"It's very thoughtful of you to do. You don't need to try that hard to gain my affection."

Her smile was so wide I could see it from the corner of my eye.

And suddenly it hit me all at once.

I liked this girl a lot. Like as much more than a friend. 

My brain went blank for a second, and then into overdrive. She had waited for me for about an hour and a half on our first date just because she wanted to spend time with me. Despite our extremely boring first date together, she decided to give me a second chance. She let me hold her hand (despite not knowing where my hands had been the whole day), just because holding her hand gave me comfort. She didn't really like pizza, but she got me one because she knew I liked (
loved) eating pizza. She got one, for me. There was no more I could possibly ask from her.

And then I realized that this was it. A near perfect girlfriend that was sitting in the passenger seat of the car.

I realized that my brain was trying to tell me something that I should have realized a long time ago.

I told her that I loved her the next week.

57 comments:

  1. Awww. It's the small things that affect the relationships.

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  2. Aw, this is so sweet. Glad you found someone so perfect for you!

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    1. Thank you for visiting Heather! Glad you think so :)

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  3. Hi, Gina!

    If you are willing to continue the tale, I am curious to know what happened next. I was the same way when it came to meeting people. I had stranger anxiety. However I had no problem talking to new people and dancing when I was drinking. In the years since I quit alcohol, I have learned to be more relaxed when I meet people for the first time.

    RJ did what too few people are willing to do. She cut you some slack, gave you the benefit of the doubt, and didn't pull the plug on the budding relationship at the first sign of incompatibility. She gave you ample time to settle in and get comfortable around her, and signaled her interest through kind words and gestures. She sounds like a keeper and I am eager to know how things are going for the two of you.

    Thanks for visiting Shady's Place, dear friend Gina. Enjoy your Friday and weekend!

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    1. The problem that I have is that it takes me a while to be comfortable around someone. I hope that gets better with age and experience. Thank you for visiting Shady!

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  4. This is why I think "dating" online is missing something. You can't hold hands on a cyber date, much less make it through a "boring" first date! Lovely. Thank you for sharing...

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    1. That is a major problem that many young people face these days. Thank you for visiting Lisa!

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  5. What a beautiful story! It taps into universal emotions felt by everyone at one time or another. Thank you for sharing here. And thanks for visiting my blog. I hope you'll return :)

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    1. Glad you think so, thank you for visiting Jemi!

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  7. Like Lisa said... face to face is so much better - as you know!

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  8. What a beautiful story! It's lovely to find someone who truly resonates with you.
    I always thought dating was horrible and awkward. At my stage of life, I'm just as happy never to do it again. I'm one day older than dirt, and at this point, spending my life trying to help my son (who is high-functioning autistic) accomplish his goals suits me just fine. I'm content to let my characters have the romance instead! I never did it right anyway.
    Thank you for visiting me at Horror Harridans Writing Sisterhood

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    1. I hope your son gets all he wants from life, all the best to you. Thank you for visiting Cara!

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  9. Sounds like the pizza made a difference, by showing her thoughtfulness.

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  10. This is such a sweet story. It's nice to find someone you like spending time with. Thanks for stopping by my blog.

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  11. You almost lost me with "Why Pizza Is Not Important." Such heresy.
    But I read on.
    I'm glad I did.

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    1. Sorry for scaring you with the title. Thank you for visiting Al!

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  12. Wonderful news.
    I suspect I would think worse of someone who WASN'T akward on a first date. To me, it sends a message that they don't care what impression they nake - which you obviously do.

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  13. Ah, food is great for bringing people together. Thanks for sharing.

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  14. Sometimes the brain is slow to catch up ;)

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    1. It always does at the most inconvenient times. Thank you for visiting Lynda!

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  15. I am glad to read your beautiful story.
    have a great day

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  16. What a wonderful story. Life is always better when you have someone to share it with. All best to you, my dear!

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    1. Thank you so much for your kind words Victoria!

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  17. Pizza rules! Sounds like a good start to the relationship.

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    1. Pizza does rule! Thanks for visiting Jennifer!

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  18. Beautiful story. Hope you have many happy moments like this one.

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  19. Sometimes, a pizza says more than a piece of jewelry. She knew what mattered to you, and she provided it. Good luck! Now that the awkward first meetings are behind you, I wish you nothing but smooth sailing ahead.

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    1. Thanks for visiting, Susan. Pizza is great for any occasion!

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  20. Hi Gina!
    No gesture is ever too small to replace apprehension with harmony. Isn’t it wonderful? Very best wishes!

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  21. I always love when we notice the small gestures. They mean so much more than grand gestures. Hope all is going well. :)
    ~Jess

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    1. They do, small gestures mean they remember the details. Thank you for visiting Jess!

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  22. For the most part I don't miss the dating scene. I'm content with my current relationship of 21 years. It could always be better, but then no relationship is perfect--or at least from my experience.

    Arlee Bird
    Tossing It Out

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    1. 21 years? I can only hope to someday be as fortunate as you. Thank you for visiting Arlee!

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  23. Neat:) Pizza is always a good icebreaker too :)

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  24. It can take a while to come to the realization that you've found "the one." When you do, it's wonderful.

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  25. You must not have been nearly as boring as you thought!

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  26. Awww, that is cute.
    I'm the same when meeting people. I'm very shy and nervous, so I won't talk much until I get comfortable with their presence.

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